Since you all know about it (you think so, I don’t think so – will explain why later) let’s not get into the abcd of the problem here for I have something much more exciting – the solution.
What? Solution to the Kashmir problem? Where tons of political Supermen have failed? The solution is also as simple as ABCD… Not only anybody can dance saala, anybody can also solve Kashmir. Rascalla…
It’s a child’s play really. Modi anyways says Kashmir problem’s father was the uncle of Indian children & friend of the father of Kashmir! Confused? Stay on…
Imagine a playground with big matches going on. Lots of kids playing, shouting at each other, fighting, winning, losing & what not. What does one do if you want to enjoy all the fun without getting dirty into the game? Obviously sit on the stands near the boundary & watch. If the ball comes to you, you catch it, & throw it back so that the game continues. The kids can do anything inside the ground, they are still in your control because you are sitting at the boundaries & controlling the gates, right! That is the solution to the Kashmir problem. Sit at the fence & have fun. Let the Jihadis do or die. Burn our flag or burn themselves to death, don’t bother. It’s a child’s play really! Now get serious (You, I already am).
Kashmir is a problem because we have made it so. We have demonized innocent Kashmiris who just wasn’t to shout a little bit of allahu ballabu ping pong porkistan.. abd everytime they start crying with these words we send thousands & lakhs of armed to the teeth soldiers to make them stop shouting. What the heck? Let them shout their way to 72 hoors, you just keep listening to your favourite man ki baat..
Kashmir is a small landlocked geography. Jammu to the south, Pakistan to the west & north & Leh to the east. The population (of the valley) is almost 100% muslim. Frankly speaking nobody their likes India due to the Porkistan funded wahabi fakology brainwashed into their knees since more than 7 decades. Earlier they all unequivocally wanted to stay with India but now they would all like to go to Porkistan till the Porkistanis kick their butt out like they did to Muhajirs but they won’t go because the Porkistanis too don’t want the Kashmiris, they want only the land & Kashmiris as their watchmen over it, for the Bungalows, resorts & golf courses to be owned by their Lahnda speaking Punjabis.
So why the hell do we give so much importance to these wretched people whom their illegally acquired father in law does not want? Because we are idiots (we = government, rest are intelligent) ourselves. For a change let the government do this instead:
1. Seal the Porksitan border with fevicol (Parinda bhi par nahi maarna chahiye motabhai ki ijajat aur modi ki ibadat ke siva)
2. Shift the state government to Jammu permanently including all government offices establishments, fauz-phata-less ghaata, boriya bistar all…
3. Remove completely the A, rmy, CRPF, BSF, all from the valley & send them to the border to seal it with more fevicol.
4. With the entire Kashmir valley empty of the establishment, the terrorists will take control. Let them enjoy. They will start a parallel government, let them play their office-office, they will start hafta vasooli from the locals, better for us. Just take care to apply GST on every pic/video uploaded by them to whatever social media.
5. Give GST collection to contract to mota Ambani. He can also come up with a new business model under Startup India – free jio internet – free downloads – just pay only 18% GST on uploads. Mota Ambani will fry them alive with his Saudi wahabi funded Jamnagar oil if they don’t pay his GST.
6. Let the Kashmiris do anything in their valley. They want autonomy, give them. Within a few years they will themselves convert it to Porkonomy & join Kaptan Imran in begging for Naans.
7. Don’t bother about what noise the terrorists make in the valley or laal-pila chowks. They can ding dong, sing a song or dance dance with mahbooba – o – mahbooba for all we care. If the singing dancing is good the BJP IT cell can monetize it on youtube to buy some khamang dhokla for the sahebs.
Is that all? Yes that is it. The solution to Kashmir problem is really that simple. We save on the tremendous expenses that we have to incur on our military forces, the deaths of soldiers, injuries etc.. & focus them on the border to seal it perfectly. Nothing comes from Porkistan – Nothing goes to Porkistan. Inside let them have their islamistan with 72 hoors. We will be safe, secure & sound!
If you beg to defer, ask me how I am right or tell me where am I wrong (in the comments section of course)